happy birthday, unremitting mom

We hope you'll join us in wishing our mother a happy birthday. You don't get to 82 by being soft, and our mom's a tough cookie. It must be her Rumanian blood. Or the fact that she was raised by wolves. During WWII, she was a guard at a camp for German prisoners of war outside of Gettysburg Pa. The prisoners dubbed her Black Jackie, because she was quick on the trigger. You didn't want to try to escape during her watch. After the war, she started a dead animal removal service, and sidelined in corralling bail skippers. During this period she developed quite a gambling problem, with the ponies in particular. Many was the day she dragged us to the track, and slipped us the syringe to dope the horse she wanted to win. We got quite good at it. Anyway, she's the best mom ever, despite her lengthy police record, and we sincerely hope she'll be paroled soon. As her lawyer said, You can't keep a person in jail for shooting somebody forever. And mom swears, swears, swears it was an accident.